Friends n Families

It was amazing and heartwarming how Apache welcomed me. The town, the school the Rotary Club. I had four immediate families:

  • Bob & Carol Crews with Rob & Jennifer
  • Don & Jackie Lehnertz
  • Danny & Mary-Joyce Swanda with Robbie, Kent & Dayne
  • Jim & Katie Patterson with Mary-Kate & Jimmy

I had twenty Rotarians willing and eager to teach me America the Beautiful ( I have sung it on road trips ever since – my kids look at me weird), and show me around Apache and Oklahoma and beyond on their trips, business or leisure. On my first trip out of town – to Paris, Texas – I learnt to greet strangers. Being of faraway English, Scots and Dutch extraction I was insular and reserved. You had to formally meet four of someone’s family before you could say hello to them. Well, in Paris Texas I missed the first greeting and even the second. Surely strangers weren’t saying ‘howdy’ to me!? Then the penny dropped: They were and Why Not? I have greeted people ever since. I get a lot of funny looks but what the hell, ignoring people is not on. I no longer have to meet someone’s grandpa before I say ‘Hello’.

I had a new senior class which would graduate soon, and then I’d join the ’74 senior class after the summer. They took me in and – besides English and American History, which were compulsory – let me choose the easy subjects (I was even in Annual Staff!). And they bought me a class ring – how’s that? I had said no thanks, so they secretly chipped in and bought me one!

Few people are lucky enough to be in three high school senior years! (I had ’72 back in South Africa as well – in the southern hemisphere we do it right – we start in January and end in December of the same calendar year!). Then I joined the Apache senior classes of ’73 and ’74 for half a year each.

Robbie Swanda, Jay Wood and David Lodes showed me the ropes. As a seventeen year old I couldn’t drive back in the RSA (and we were under strict orders NOT to drive as exchange students!) but in the USA Robbie & Jay could. And I could be a passenger in their blue Ford Mustang and green Chev Camaro. Once Jay even made the mistake of letting me drive. Bad. Again, I am sorry Jay and you were amazing the way you forgave me! I was better in the passenger seat. You know: beer. (The feature pic is from 15yrs later when I visited Apache on honeymoon: Jay, me and Robbie At Jim n Katie’s place).

Jim let me drive a tractor and Ole Red, the WW2 Willys Jeep. But on the farm! Sober!

Old Red
Old Red

In Canada that summer Sherry Porter made the mistake of letting me drive on a Friday on the way to a TGIF and I wrecked the rear fender of her red VW Bug. Thank goodness I hit a great big fullsize Dodge pickup with a fender the size of a cowcatcher on a steam train and didn’t leave a mark so we could drive off without guilt. You too were amazing the way you forgave this African-who-wouldn’t-learn, Sherry! I was better on the back seat. You know: beer.

In Rotary every Tuesday (I think it was Tuesdays) we’d have a pattern: We’d sing America the Beautiful, pledge allegiance, ask about what everyone had been up to and ask a medical question of old Doc O’Connor who would reply “Not that kind of doctor”. Every time. (He was a dentist).

I became a farmer – A certified Future Farmer of America and I can still hear how Schneeburger would say EFFIFFAY. I welded a cattle feeder on an axle and drum with birdshit welding which fell over in the first little breeze. I went to hog shows. I planted peanuts in Fort Cobb (or watched some Mexican fellas do it anyhow). I sprayed something on Jim’s lands. I drove in Walter & Pug Hrbacek’s (or was it Gene & Odie Mindemann’s) airconditioned cab in his harvester (or tractor?) with an eight-track tape overhead. I took part in the catching, de-horning, castrating, branding and inoculating of the bull calves, then in eating the produce and washing it down with beer. Mountain oysters.

I learnt to type – Peaking at a blistering nineteen words a minute with ten mistakes.

I got hauled up in front of Mr Brown with Jay & Robbie and cowered as he read us the riot act for some misdemeanor, and then listened in wide-eyed awe as Jay said “You’ll get over it!” as John Brown turned bright puce.

Travel

I got taken to Paris Texas, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, the Wichita mountains, many surrounding towns – even Boone! Lawton, Norman, Anadarko for catfish, Lake Ellsworth and Lake Lawtonka, Fin & Feather on Lake Tenkiller, Muskogee, Shreveport LA, Cobleskill NY, Dubuque Iowa, Red River NM, Las Vegas Nevada, the South Rim of the Grand Canyon (drove Route 66 on the way back), Colorado, Utah, Bryce Canyon, Zion National Park. Etc. Eighteen states in all.

Then Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Lake Superior, Quetico National Park (canoed on the Lake of the Woods and got eaten by 40 million mosquitos) in Canada with Niagara falls on the way. Saw the Mississippi where you could throw a stone across it on an amazing trip: The Pattersons took me to Shreveport LA, where Larry & Ginny Wingert fetched me in a VW Bug and drove me to Cobleskill NY; Where Dottie & Dale Moffett and Sherry Porter fetched me in another VW Bug in which we drove through Canada to Dubuque Iowa, where Don & Jackie Lehnertz drove me home to Apache.

How amazing is all that?

I played football and track for school and basketball for a Rotary pickup team.

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Somehow the teachers in Apache were all wonderful and friendly! Why is that, when the teachers in my first senior class were not so enamoured of me? OK, let’s be truthful, I was a bit hard-to-take in my home school and very co-operative and smiling in my second school! I was on my best behaviour in the latter and not my best in the former. Sorry, Harrismith teachers!  Colonel Dennis, Virginia Darnell, Bob Schneeburger, Dan Chandler, Jeanne Setzer, Billie McDonald and L’Roy Campbell were all very good to me – as were all the others (memory fails me as far as names go). Another one was Jim Stanton from the lil school, who took me to a rock concert (I wrote about that further down this blog). And I wrote an apology-of-sorts to Rick Hulett too!

I Believe I Can Fly

Colonel Harold Dennis taught me how to fly – in theory – in night classes. Many years later I flew solo off a mountain in a paraglider. I’m glad I paid attention in his classes. It was stunning. And the Colonel’s knowledge really did help – I knew what was happening. I soared up above the take-off point like a bird.

What a year! Thank you Apache!

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Dottie Moffett

RedRiver NewMexico 1973 Dottie
Dottie Moffett, Red River, New Mexico 1973

As a sad postscript to my reminiscing about this wonderful year, I found out way after the fact that Dottie Moffett Butler died unexpectedly at her home in San Diego, California, on Wednesday, July 5, 2006.

I also learnt that Dottie was born July 8, 1955, in Daytona Beach. At the age of seven her family moved to Chickasha and then, several years later, moved to Ardmore. Dottie graduated from Ardmore High School.

During her junior year she was a Rotary Exchange student to South Africa. I met her after that when she was back in OK in 1973. She returned to South Africa to earn her bachelor’s degree from the University of Cape Town, South Africa, where we met up once when I traveled to Cape Town in my mother’s borrowed car as a student in Johannesburg.

I found out she had gone on to earn her master’s degree in psychology from East Central University in Ada. Her obituary read: As a psychologist, Dottie was a compassionate and caring counselor whose gift for helping others through difficult times will long be remembered. Dottie is survived by her husband, Dr. Harrison Butler, San Diego; her mother, Dorothy Moffett McCall, Durham N.C.; her sister, Dale Moffett, Cary, N.C.; two brothers, David Moffett and his wife Mary, Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Denny Moffett and his wife Mary, Tulsa, Oklahoma, as well as several nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her father, Dr. J. Denny Moffett Jr. (I see her mother Dorothy McCall passed away more recently in 2014, aged 88 in Durham N.C).

Remembrance services for Dottie were held in San Diego and on Mt. Desert Island in Maine, where Dottie and family had vacationed. (This information was provided by Haigh-Black Funeral Home).


Devastated. Too soon! Dottie was a very special lady. I knew her only for a couple years, in Oklahoma, in Cape Town, and on a trip through Canada with her twin sister Dale and her very good friend Sherry Porter, but she was unforgettable – her heart, her sincerity, her joie de vivre, and that wonderful laugh!

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Dottie with Jim Patterson of Apache OK in the Sangre de Christo mountains NM 1973

Dottie in Montreal 1973

Dottie in Montreal (I think - Ottawa?)

(PS: Dottie’s Dad, Dr Denny Moffett sent me a book on the Wichita Mountains and the Native American people. I must find it).